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Shamless Plug: Vote for my Beautiful Baby, Charlee

Everyone knows I love my dog…don’t they?  Well, you should.  Anyways, A Novel Menagerie is hosting another 2010 Beautiful Baby Contest and there are a ton of entrants in the competition.

How can Charlee compete without votes from you, especially against the dynamic cat duo of Emmy and Finn from Presenting Lenore and Milou of Bermudaonion?

Can’t keep Charlee away from that snow.


Here’s what I had to say about Charlee for the contest:

Name:  Charlee (with two e’s because he wants and needs to be different)
Breed:  He’s a Keeshond, not to be confused with a little Pomeranian or a Chow Chow, and believe me that has happened.
Age:  He’s 12 going on puppy.
Gender:  And obviously from these pronouns, you’ve deduced he’s a boy, though he is neutered.
Why He’s So Loved:        I’ve included my favorite photo of him from this winter’s snow storm in his new outfit.  He just loves snow…eating it, tumbling in it, catching snowballs in his mouth, which leads to eating them, and just running around in it.  He’d live in the snow if I’d let him, but its too darn cold.  I’ve had him since I was a pup when Anna and I were in college and just had to get a dog because we were never getting married and would be old maids anyway.

Go check out the competition and vote for Charlee anyway!

The Weight of Heaven by Thrity Umrigar

Thrity Umrigar’s The Weight of Heaven is a heavy with grief, emptiness, and struggle.  The Bentons (Ellie and Frank) lose their son, Benny, at age seven from meningococcus.  Ellie has liberal leanings politically and is a therapist to clients in Ann Arbor, Mich., while Frank is a proud, American business executive with residual issues of abandonment.  The loss of a child can be daunting for any family, and it is clear how grief of this magnitude can slowly rip a family apart.

“And now they were two.  Benny was gone.  What was left behind was mockery — objects and memories that mocked their earlier, smug happiness.  Benny was gone, an airplane lost behind the clouds, but he left behind a trail of smoke a mile long:”  (Page 2)

As this American couple struggles with the loss of their son, Ellie and Frank embark on a new life in India when Frank is transferred to a new HerbalSolutions factory.  The distance between them had gaped wide by this point, and both hope that the experience will help them repair their relationship and bring them closer to one another.  However, in rural India with its impoverished population, Frank and Ellie find that their values change and their current circumstances and grief dictate their reactions to one another, their servants, the local community, and other expatriates.

“Now she was trying to control the sway of her hips, trying hard to resist the tug of the pounding drums that were making her lose her inhibitions, making her want to dance manically, the way she used to in nightclubs when she was in her teens.  But that was the beauty of the dandiya dance — it celebrated the paradoxical joy of movement and restraint, of delirium within a structure.  This was not about individual expression but about community.”  (Page 220)

Readers will be absorbed by the local community and its traditions, the struggles of the Benton’s servants, and the stark beauty of India.  But what really makes this novel shine is the characters and their evolution from idealistic college students and young parents to a grief-stricken and dejected married couple in a foreign nation.  The tension between Frank and Ellie is personified in the dichotomous views each character reveals to the reader about the Indian community from the lax work environment and labor disputes at Frank’s factory to the deep-rooted sense of community and communion with nature shown through Ellie’s interactions with individuals at a local clinic.

The Weight of Heaven is more than a novel about grief; it is about how grief can distort perception and push people to make life-changing decisions that can broaden their horizons and transform them forever.  Umrigar’s prose is poetic and full of imagery that paints a vivid picture of India and its rural community and its city life in Mumbai/Bombay.  Class differences, the struggles of American expatriates, grief, death, and marital woes are explored deftly in this novel, and it is clearly one of the best novels of 2010.

To win 1 copy of The Weight of Heaven; this giveaway is international:

1.  Leave a comment about what nation you would move to or have moved to.
2.  Blog, Tweet, Facebook, etc. about the giveaway.

Deadline Feb. 19, 2010, 11:59PM EST

About the Author:

Thrity Umrigar is the author of three other novels—The Space Between Us, If Today Be Sweet, and Bombay Time—and the memoir First Darling of the Morning. A journalist for 17 years, she is the winner of the Nieman Fellowship to Harvard University and a 2006 finalist for the PEN/Beyond Margins Award. An associate professor of English at Case Western Reserve University, Umrigar lives in Cleveland.

This is my 9th book for the 2010 New Authors Challenge.

This is my 1st book for the 2010 South Asian Authors Challenge.

If you are interested in The Weight of Heaven, please check out the rest of the blog tour.

FTC Disclosure:  I received a free copy of The Weight of Heaven from the publisher and TLC Book Tours for review.  Clicking on title and image links will go to my Amazon Affiliate page; No purchase necessary, though appreciated to fund international giveaways.

Cathy Buchanan and Saving Niagara Falls

I recently received an email from Cathy Buchanan, author of The Day the Falls Stood Still (click for my review), about the movement to stop high-rise development on the green spaces of Loretto Academy.  Here’s what she had to say.  I urge you to all consider the issue, get informed, and participate.

Lots of you know I’ve helped found Friends of Niagara Falls, a non-profit organization working to preserve the environment and natural beauty of Niagara Falls.  Our first task is a big one: stopping the high-rise development planned for the green space of Loretto Academy (yep, it’s the convent school where The Day the Falls Stood Still opens in 1915), located atop the bluff adjacent to the Horseshoe Falls.

The treed grounds of Loretto frame the falls in nature, a much more fitting backdrop to a natural wonder of the world than a wall of hotels. The high-rises will cast shadows on the parkland surrounding the falls and the falls itself and are expected to increase the number of rain-like days at Niagara Falls, as has been the case recent high-rise development.

Please show our government your opposition by signing the Friends of Niagara Falls petition. http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/stopthewalls/

To get informed and get involved, visit http://www.FriendsofNiagaraFalls.org/

Please pass these links onto friends and family.

Thanks, 
Cathy

FTC Disclosure: Clicking on title and image links will lead you to my Amazon Affiliate page; No purchase necessary, though appreciated.

Mailbox Monday #68

Before we start with Mailbox Monday, let’s take a look at the snowfall and see if you can find Charlee.  Ive already posted about the snow, but I couldn’t resist showing some more.

My husband made a trail for Charlee so he could go potty, but can you even see him?

Today, Charlee is even more tired.  Who knew going outside would be so exhausting?!

Marcia at The Printed Page and Kristi of The Story Siren both sponsor memes in which bloggers share what books they’ve received in the past week.  I’m going to continue calling these Mailbox Mondays, but The Story Siren also has In My Mailbox.

Here’s what I received:

1.  Venetia Kelly’s Traveling Show by Frank Delaney for review later this month.

2.  In the Wake of the Boatman by Jonathan Scott Fuqua for review and the Vietnam War Reading Challenge.

3.  The Yellow House by Patricia Falvey from Hachette for review.

What did you get in your mailbox?

FTC Disclosure: Clicking on title and image links will lead you to my Amazon Affiliate page; No purchase necessary, though appreciated.

S-N-O-W

Where’s Charlee?  I think he’s buried in the snow!

We took a little drive today after the streets were relatively clear and the snow stopped.  Looked really pretty, but there is a ton of snow out there.

Here we are hanging out in a parking lot with tons and tons of snow, if you don’t believe me.

What have you been doing this weekend?

Winner of Hotel

Out of 27 entrants, random.org selected #11

lag123, who said what they would go back and change would be “When I was a freshman in college, I quit my first semester and went back to my hometown to attend a Jr. college there. I wish I had toughed it out and stayed at the four year college. I was just very homesick.”

Thanks to everyone who entered.  Just remember there are more giveaways going on here and you can find them listed in the right sidebar.

I hope everyone is having a great weekend.  I’m having a weekend full of snow.

31st Virtual Poetry Circle

It’s the 31st Virtual Poetry Circle, and it’s time to visit with a classic poet, but before we do that, I wanted to thank everyone who has participated in this project thus far.  Feel free to spread the word.

Additionally, you should start noticing some small changes here on the blog, including possible article suggestions at the end of my posts (Thanks Bloggiesta for calling this widget to my attention) and some share buttons, which I’m not overly thrilled with, but they’ll do for now.

I would also love to get a new three-column template that meshes better with my header, so if anyone would like to volunteer, please email me.

OK, Here’s a poem up for reactions, interaction, and–dare I say it–analysis:

Remember, this is just for fun and is not meant to be stressful.

Keep in mind what Molly Peacock’s books suggested. Look at a line, a stanza, sentences, and images; describe what you like or don’t like; and offer an opinion. If you missed my review of her book, check it out here.

Today, we’ll be taking a look at a canto from Dante Alighieri‘s epic poem The Divine Comedy.  Be prepared this is a long one.

Canto 1 

Midway upon the journey of our life
I found myself within a forest dark,
For the straightforward pathway had been lost.

Ah me! how hard a thing it is to say
What was this forest savage, rough, and stern,
Which in the very thought renews the fear.

So bitter is it, death is little more;
But of the good to treat, which there I found,
Speak will I of the other things I saw there.

I cannot well repeat how there I entered,
So full was I of slumber at the moment
In which I had abandoned the true way.

But after I had reached a mountain's foot,
At that point where the valley terminated,
Which had with consternation pierced my heart,

Upward I looked, and I beheld its shoulders,
Vested already with that planet's rays
Which leadeth others right by every road.

Then was the fear a little quieted
That in my heart's lake had endured throughout
The night, which I had passed so piteously.

And even as he, who, with distressful breath,
Forth issued from the sea upon the shore,
Turns to the water perilous and gazes;

So did my soul, that still was fleeing onward,
Turn itself back to re-behold the pass
Which never yet a living person left.

After my weary body I had rested,
The way resumed I on the desert slope,
So that the firm foot ever was the lower.

And lo! almost where the ascent began,
A panther light and swift exceedingly,
Which with a spotted skin was covered o'er!

And never moved she from before my face,
Nay, rather did impede so much my way,
That many times I to return had turned.

The time was the beginning of the morning,
And up the sun was mounting with those stars
That with him were, what time the Love Divine

At first in motion set those beauteous things;
So were to me occasion of good hope,
The variegated skin of that wild beast,

The hour of time, and the delicious season;
But not so much, that did not give me fear
A lion's aspect which appeared to me.

He seemed as if against me he were coming
With head uplifted, and with ravenous hunger,
So that it seemed the air was afraid of him;

And a she-wolf, that with all hungerings
Seemed to be laden in her meagreness,
And many folk has caused to live forlorn!

She brought upon me so much heaviness,
With the affright that from her aspect came,
That I the hope relinquished of the height.

And as he is who willingly acquires,
And the time comes that causes him to lose,
Who weeps in all his thoughts and is despondent,

E'en such made me that beast withouten peace,
Which, coming on against me by degrees
Thrust me back thither where the sun is silent.

While I was rushing downward to the lowland,
Before mine eyes did one present himself,
Who seemed from long-continued silence hoarse.

When I beheld him in the desert vast,
"Have pity on me," unto him I cried,
"Whiche'er thou art, or shade or real man!"

He answered me: "Not man; man once I was,
And both my parents were of Lombardy,
And Mantuans by country both of them.

'Sub Julio' was I born, though it was late,
And lived at Rome under the good Augustus,
During the time of false and lying gods.

A poet was I, and I sang that just
Son of Anchises, who came forth from Troy,
After that Ilion the superb was burned.

But thou, why goest thou back to such annoyance?
Why climb'st thou not the Mount Delectable,
Which is the source and cause of every joy?"

"Now, art thou that Virgilius and that fountain
Which spreads abroad so wide a river of speech?"
I made response to him with bashful forehead.

"O, of the other poets honour and light,
Avail me the long study and great love
That have impelled me to explore thy volume!

Thou art my master, and my author thou,
Thou art alone the one from whom I took
The beautiful style that has done honour to me.

Behold the beast, for which I have turned back;
Do thou protect me from her, famous Sage,
For she doth make my veins and pulses tremble."

"Thee it behoves to take another road,"
Responded he, when he beheld me weeping,
"If from this savage place thou wouldst escape;

Because this beast, at which thou criest out,
Suffers not any one to pass her way,
But so doth harass him, that she destroys him;

And has a nature so malign and ruthless,
That never doth she glut her greedy will,
And after food is hungrier than before.

Many the animals with whom she weds,
And more they shall be still, until the Greyhound
Comes, who shall make her perish in her pain.

He shall not feed on either earth or pelf,
But upon wisdom, and on love and virtue;
'Twixt Feltro and Feltro shall his nation be;

Of that low Italy shall he be the saviour,
On whose account the maid Camilla died,
Euryalus, Turnus, Nisus, of their wounds;

Through every city shall he hunt her down,
Until he shall have driven her back to Hell,
There from whence envy first did let her loose.

Therefore I think and judge it for thy best
Thou follow me, and I will be thy guide,
And lead thee hence through the eternal place,

Where thou shalt hear the desperate lamentations,
Shalt see the ancient spirits disconsolate,
Who cry out each one for the second death;

And thou shalt see those who contented are
Within the fire, because they hope to come,
Whene'er it may be, to the blessed people;

To whom, then, if thou wishest to ascend,
A soul shall be for that than I more worthy;
With her at my departure I will leave thee;

Because that Emperor, who reigns above,
In that I was rebellious to his law,
Wills that through me none come into his city.

He governs everywhere, and there he reigns;
There is his city and his lofty throne;
O happy he whom thereto he elects!"

And I to him: "Poet, I thee entreat,
By that same God whom thou didst never know,
So that I may escape this woe and worse,

Thou wouldst conduct me there where thou hast said,
That I may see the portal of Saint Peter,
And those thou makest so disconsolate."

Then he moved on, and I behind him followed.


Let me know your thoughts, ideas, feelings, impressions. Let’s have a great discussion…pick a line, pick an image, pick a sentence.

I’ve you missed the other Virtual Poetry Circles, check them out here. It’s never too late to join the discussion.

FTC Disclosure:  Clicking on title links or images will bring you to my Amazon Affiliate page; No purchase necessary.

Government Girl Stacy Parker Aab Hits the Booksigning Circuit

I’ve only been to the Borders on 1801 K Street in Washington, D.C., one other time for a reading, and the area has changed a great deal since I worked in the city nearly 10 years ago.  But hubby and I wandered the city streets for a while looking for something to eat before the reading since I get out of work long before the 6:30 PM event and he had the day off.

We found this out of the way lounge, Recessions, and decided to give it a try.  The way down into the lounge was a bit odd, like winding your way through antiseptic hallways only to find yourself in a mafia den.  We had some cheap eats and drinks, but the service was really slow.

When we got to Borders, the front display of Stacy Parker Aab‘s book, Government Girl, had been picked over quite a bit.  I did my part and picked up two copies and immediately checked them out at the register; I’d even brought my ARC.  While waiting for the program to start, I read a book and my hubby wandered the bookstore’s DVD section and collectors’ books.  The reading started a little bit late, but that provided more time for the stragglers to come in and fill up the event’s seating.  I was glad to see so many young women in attendance, who either currently went to George Washington University, like Aab had, or were in the political arena already.

Aab read from three sections of her memoir, and at times she seemed a bit nervous.  But with a first book, who wouldn’t be?!  One of my favorite sections of the book about Secret Service agents was a real treat to hear in her voice and with her inflections.  This is a section she referred to as an ode of sorts.  I’d say it pays homage to the lonely nature of being a Secret Service agent for sure.  This was my favorite part of the reading.

Following the reading portion of the evening, the floor was opened up to questions from the audience and there was a wide variety.  While she was asked about balancing the stress of working in the White House with her romantic and recreational life, she was also asked about how the atmosphere changed in the White House when the Monica Lewinsky scandal hit during the Clinton Administration.  Here’s a little bit of how she answered the atmosphere question (you can thank my husband for all the photos and video because I was nervous for some reason — I seem to always get that way with authors I enjoy, like I don’t know what to say in person):

I think some of the other questions about fashion advice on a budget and dating were a bit strange to ask an author who is about 10 years removed from the area given that things change in D.C. so rapidly, and I’m afraid those audience members didn’t really get the answers they had hoped for.  Overall, it was a good reading, and it was great to meet Aab in person after all the lovely emails we have exchanged.  I’ll leave you with two pictures, one of the signing line and one of me getting the books signed.

Giveaway Details; This one is open only to readers of the blog OUTSIDE the US/Canada:

1 SIGNED copy of Government Girl is up for grabs.

1.  Leave a comment on this post about whether you get nervous meeting authors you enjoy.
2.  Let me know if you have commented on my review, guest post from Aab, and/or my D.C. Literature Examiner article for additional entries.
3.  Blog, Tweet, Facebook, etc. the giveaway and leave a link for another entry.

Deadline is Feb. 19, 2010, at 11:59 PM EST.  Good Luck!

Simon’s Cat by Simon Tofield

Simon Tofield’s Simon’s Cat is a collection of cartoons that speak volumes about cat ownership and cat psyches. The cat has a one track mind — food. The cat finds a variety of ways to get his owner’s attention, including hitting him over the head with a baseball bat, like in this video. The cat has not only become a YouTube sensation, but this book is likely to become equally successful.

Some of the best cartoons in the book involve Simon’s cat acting like a bird feeder or bird bath hoping to catch birds. Through simple lines, shapes, and caricatures, Tofield creates an instantly recognizable and lovable cat.  There are subtle changes to each image that make the laughs even bigger.  Readers should check out Simon Tofield as he discusses how Simon’s Cat developed and how he came up with the name. Readers may find that the cartoon reminds them of other cartoon characters like Garfield, though Simon’s cat doesn’t have a dog to worry about or make look ridiculous.

Simon’s Cat by Simon Tofield can provide readers with hours of entertainment, laughs, and fun.  Through self-deprecating actions, Simon’s cat gets into all kinds of trouble and makes a lot of messes, but he’s still adorable.  A cartoon book for any cat lover, those that need a good chuckle, and it would make a good gift for any occasion.

FTC Disclosure:  I receive my copy of Simon’s Cat from A Circle of Books in a giveaway win.  Clicking on title and image links will go to my Amazon Affiliate page; No purchase necessary, though appreciated to fund international giveaways.

I’m also counting this as my 8th book for the 2010 New Authors Challenge.

Interview With Moira Egan

I thought I would do a little something different today as part of FreeVerse over at Ooh…Books.

Bar Napkin Sonnet #17
We pause in conversation and the air
around us stills. It feels as if a globe
of yellow light’s enveloped us, alone,
and everyone around has disappeared.
His callused hand is gentle in my hair.
He’s only twenty-five, yet somehow knows
to kiss me now: “It feels like we’re alone.”
(I halfway fall in love with him right there.)
He’s never been to Europe, so we drink
sangria made of white wine, brandy, pears
and apples. “It’s the sugar in the fruit
that gets you gone,” I tell him, as I think
tonight he’s going to travel. Then we share
an eau-de-vie, ephemeral as youth.

Here’s part of my interview with Moira Egan at 32 Poems Blog.

How would you introduce yourself to a crowded room eager to hang on your every word? Are you just a poet, what else should people know about you?
 
My father was a poet, so I guess I can say I was infused with the Muse through nature and nurture both. That didn’t make it any easier, and there have been years-long stretches when I didn’t even consider myself a poet, didn’t want to be a poet. But here I am.

And here means Rome, where I live with my husband, Damiano Abeni, who, when he is not being an epidemiologist, is (if I may say so) a very well respected translator of American poetry into Italian. He’s done books of poems by Mark Strand, Elizabeth Bishop, Charles Simic, C.K Williams, and many others, and now I am happy to say that he translates my work as well. In fact, now he and I also work as a team on translations, going in both directions, but mostly from English into Italian. Together we worked on Un mondo che non può essere migliore: Poesie scelte 1956-2007, a substantial selection of poems by John Ashbery, which just won a Special Prize from the Premio Napoli. We have several translation projects on the front and back burners, and next summer we will spend a month at the Rockefeller Foundation’s Bellagio Center, translating the “Italian” poems of Charles Wright.

Do you have any obsessions that you would like to share?

They’re there in the poems.

How do you stay fit and healthy as a writer?

Living in the land of pasta, that’s a constant, uphill battle. I try to take a good long walk every day, and it’s true enough that crossing the street in Rome is an Extreme Sport: very aerobic, even if you didn’t mean it to be. I also enjoy yoga.

What current projects are you working on and would you like to share some details with the readers? 

I am a very superstitious poet, so I am not going to say what I am working on right now, but I can happily say that my chapbook, Bar Napkin Sonnets, has just been published by The Ledge (where it won the 2008 Chapbook Competition) and that SPIN, another full-length collection will be coming out from Entasis Press in spring 2010.

To find out her favorite foods, about her writing space, and more, read the full interview.

FTC Disclosure: Clicking on title links or images will bring you to my Amazon Affiliate page; No purchase necessary.

Savvy Verse & Wit, Wikio Exclusive

Good morning, everyone! I’ve had my site on Wikio for less than a year, and they kindly informed me that my site has steadily moved up the ranks!  I cannot believe it, and it is all thanks to you my lovely readers!

Wikio was kind enough to even let me have an exclusive and release their February Top 20 list of Literature Websites a few days early.  Please check it out!  For more information about Wikio, go here.

Also, if you enter your information in the Google form below, you can win a book of your choice from the following:

1.  Cleopatra’s Daughter by Michelle Moran
2.  Loving Mr. Darcy by Sharon Lathan
3.  Little Bird of Heaven by Joyce Carol Oates
4.  The Reluctant Widow by Georgette Heyer
5.  Little Stories by Jeff Roberts
6.  Gold Dust on his Shirt by Irene Howard

Deadline is Feb. 19, 2010, at 11:59PM EST

1 Nathan Bransford – Literary Agent
2 Janet Reid, Literary Agent
3 Maud Newton
4 Leiter Reports: A Philosophy Blog
5 Rachelle Gardner, Literary Agent
6 Wild Rose Reader
7 The Best American Poetry
8 Black-Eyed Susan’s
9 One Single Impression
10 LEMON HOUND
11 TLC Book Tours
12 The Written World
13 Editorial Anonymous
14 A Newbie’s Guide to Publishing
15 Writer Beware Blogs!
16 Conversational Reading
17 HipWriterMama
18 Savvy Verse & Wit
19 Enchanted by Josephine
20 Fantasy Book Critic

Ranking by Wikio

DNF Books

I normally try to read every book, even ones that I find difficult to read, but it is time for me to set aside these books for good.  I either didn’t like the writing style or the subject matter.  But look for an opportunity to grab ahold of these and give them a try for yourself.

I will provide a synopsis from either the publisher, author, or Amazon.com site for your review and a couple sentences why I didn’t finish these books despite my normal penchant for finishing everything I read.

1.  Gold Dust on His Shirt by Irene Howard

Gold Dust on His Shirt is an evocative telling of the experience of a Scandinavian immigrant family of hard-rock miners at the turn of the century and up to World War II. Based on fascinating historical research, these are tales of arriving in ‘Amerika,’ blasting the Grand Trunk Pacific railway, work in the mines, and domestic life and labour struggles in company towns throughout British Columbia.

While initially the prologue drew me in with the writer’s inspiration for writing the book, I soon discovered a more textbook-like writing style in the subsequent chapters, which were too dry for me to continue.  Although I am sure this book contains some great historical information about the immigrant experience of miners, I was not as interested in the subject matter as I had hoped.

2.  Little Stories by Jeff Roberts


Little Stories takes a critical look at the inevitable moments of betrayal and loneliness in our awkward quest to love and be loved, but the reader will discover the value – and even joy – to be had by looking backward and facing the past. This brilliant collection of tales should not be missed.

I found the dialogue in the first story to be pedestrian, and I didn’t feel a connection to the characters.  With a compilation of short stories, it is difficult to connect with characters in those stories, but some collections do better than others.  Unfortunately, this was not one of those collections for me.

3.  The Reluctant Widow by Georgette Heyer

In The Reluctant Widow, Eleanor Rochdale, a young woman of good birth but straitened circumstances, sets out to accept a position as a governess and ends up plunged into a tangle of foreign intrigue instead.

Georgette Heyer has received great reviews from other bloggers in the blogosphere, but for some reason The Reluctant Widow failed to hold my attention on more than on occasion. 

4.  Loving Mr. Darcy by Sharon Lathan

Darcy and Lizzy venture away from Pemberley to journey through England, finding friends, relatives, fun, love, and an even deeper and more sacred bond along the way. Having embarked on the greatest adventure of all, marriage and the start of a new life together, now the Darcys take the reader on a journey through a time of prosperity, enjoyment, and security. They experience all the adventures of travel, with friends and relatives providing both companionship and complications, and with fun as their focus.
This is the second book in Sharon Lathan’s Pride & Prejudice spin-off based loosely upon the 2005 movie and Austen’s work. I picked up my copy at last year’s Book Expo America, but I’ve realized that the endearments and lack of plot action and character development leave me cold.  I must warn readers that Lathan will enter the bedroom with Darcy and Elizabeth, so if you prefer something more sedate, this is not for you.

FTC Disclosure: Clicking on title links or images will bring you to my Amazon Affiliate page; No purchase necessary.