Quantcast

Some Winners and Graham Parke Announcement

Winner Melissa of Melissa's Eclectic Bookshelf

Winners Ti of Book Chatter and Anita Yancey

Winner Anna of Diary of an Eccentric

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And now an announcement from Graham Parke:

“I’m very polite by nature, even the voices in my head let each other finish their sentences.” Graham Parke, Unspent Time

I’d originally planned to have a monkey draw two random numbers out of a hat (then use the inverse hexadecimal value – because you cannot trust monkeys, not at the prices I’m willing to pay) but apparently there are laws against monkey labor. There are permits involved. It’s a whole thing. So instead I asked a friend to think of two random numbers while dressed in a monkey suit, without telling him what the numbers were for. This seemed sufficiently random to me, although it later occurred to me how worrying it was that my friend would actually do this without ever asking why. There might be a thinly veiled cry for help in there somewhere…

Kindle Fire Winner:Cecilia HuddlestonKindle Touch Winner:
Kathy Habel 

 

 

A big thank you to all the bloggers and readers who supported the Unspent Time launch event (especially those who bought multiple versions of the weird little novels that wrecked a thousand reasonably useful minds.)

Anyway, here’s the results, thank you all for joining in, winners will be contacted and forced to accept prizes, let me know if you ever come across bits in the novels you like, stay healthy and sane,

Graham Parke

“We played for about half an hour before I realized we were actually playing two different games. What I’d thought of as ludo was actually a game called gin rummy, and what Warren was playing seemed to be a mixture of craps and table tennis. Once we started playing by one consistent set of rules, though, the fun was really over.” Graham Parke, No Hope for Gomez!

Guest Post & Giveaway: Graham Parke’s Unspent Time

Unspent Time Launch Party

Get free books and win a Kindle Fire or a Kindle Touch



Warning: reading this novel may make you more attractive and elevate your random luck by about 9.332%*
(* These statements have not been evaluated by any person of consequence!)

From the award winning author of ‘No Hope for Gomez!’ comes a collection of impossible tales. Permeating the cracks between the past and the present is the realm of Unspent Time; time that was allotted but never spent. This is where we find the stories that could have been true.

Read how to enter below.

Excerpt

Sunday brunch; the table overflowing with food and drink, the fine china and silverware laid out, the clock ticking away painfully slow minutes before father finally speaks. “Well son,” he says, “isn’t it about time you got yourself a job?”

John looks up from his plate. “Dad,” he says, “I have a job.”

Father nods thoughtfully, chewing his medium rare steak. “I guess it’s about time you moved out then. Found a place of your own. Planted some roots.”

John is baffled. “But dad, I moved out five years ago. In fact, this is the first time I’ve been back.” He looks over at mother, who shrugs and says, “You know dear, your brother has his own business. He set up an accountancy firm.”

John rolls his eyes. “That’s me, mom. I set up an accountancy firm. John Williams and Associates.”

“That’s good to hear,” father says. “Always said you should run your own business. You have a keen business sense. You always had.”

“I just wish he’d find himself a girlfriend,” mother complains.

“What do you mean?” John smiles apologetically at Annabel. “I have a girlfriend, mother, she’s sitting next to you. She gave you flowers at the door, remember?” He points at the vase. “You put them in water.”

Mother waves it away with a warm smile. “Sorry dear, I meant a proper girlfriend.” She squeezes Annabel’s hand. “You know what I mean, don’t you dear?”

Annabel opens her mouth, but can’t think of anything to say.

“Didn’t you used to have dark hair,” father says suddenly, “and not quite so many arms?” He looks John over carefully. “Yes, yes,” he says, “you definitely look different. Did you get shorter?”

“That’s enough!” John gets up. He gestures at Annabel to do the same. “If you cannot behave like civilized human beings, then we’re going! I can’t believe you’d treat Annabel and myself this way. It’s appalling!”

Father throws down his napkin and stands as well. “Serves you right, young man,” he says. “Serves you right for not going home for five years and then ending up in the wrong house!”

… continued in Unspent Time

How to enter:

For the launch of the new novel I decided to discount it to $0.99 for the month of May (PC and eBook), give away some exclusive content, and raffle off two Kindles. All entrants will get:

  • An exclusive spin-off novelette (not available for purchase anywhere!)
  • Making of Gomez: behind the scenes eBook
  • Signature for their paperback or kindle edition
  • Chance to win a Kindle Fire or a Kindle Touch


(Prizes can be traded for Amazon gift certificates if you already own them.)
Just email your receipt to [email protected] to enter.
Each purchase counts, so stock up on birthday presents (for people you don’t like that much, for instance) The discount ends May 31, but be sure to send the receipts no later than June 1st.


(Or order the books from any bookstore.)
Coupon code for the month: ZB77D

And then get by tweeting about your purchase:

Sound bites from Unspent Time:

“I’m looking into my past lives. I’m convinced some of them still owe me money.”

“I’m very polite by nature, even the voices in my head let each other finish their sentences.”

“I didn’t actually want to do it,” Kiala told the boy. “The universe just kind of conspired to force me to make a fool of myself. It does that quite a lot, actually.”

“Sadly, my socks are like snowflakes, no two are exactly alike.”

Here’s what reviewers had to say:

“A veritable page turner of nonstop laughs!” — Reader Views
“An unputdownable read. a Coens Brothers’ film in book form.” — BookReview.com
“Extremely witty and clever writing.” — California Chronicle
“A Party for your Brain!” — Warren Baxter

Bio:

Graham Parke is responsible for a number of technical publications and has recently patented a self-folding map. He has been described as both a humanitarian and a pathological liar. Convincing evidence to support either allegation has yet to be produced.

www.grahamparke.com
www.grahamparke.blogspot.com
GoodReads
Facebook

Surprise!

Today has been a day of surprises, but one surprise was not as shocking as the other. Today, I’m featured on The Writer’s Center‘s First Person Plural blog. I talk a bit about the blog and its beginnings and what my main focus is among other things. I hope you’ll take a minute to go on over and comment.

Secondly, I received a pleasant surprise today when the winners of the Summer for Gomez winners were announced.  Check out the announcement below.

Summer of Gomez Winners

“Every once in a while you come across a novel so fresh and new it reacquaints you with feelings of childhood wonder. The novel my neighbor, Warren, wrote was my first example of the exact opposite of this.”
— Gomez in ‘No Hope for Gomez!’
Blogger Kindle Winner:
Serena from SavvyVerseandWit.comReader Kindle Winner:
Arthur Hall (US)

Reader iPod Winner:
Lynn Bassler (US)

Limited edition Winners:
Ebehireme Iyoha (US)
Yasmin Raad Muhi (Mal)
Sarah Bibi Setar (SA)
Gemma Richardson (UK)
David Lane (US)

 

Thanks to everyone who decided to make the summer of 2011 an official Summer of Gomez! I for one had a lot of fun and lost only a little bit of hair (and a few teeth) over the administration. A small price to pay of course.
Let’s try something great next year as well.

I’ve never owned an e-reader before, but if anyone has some tips, please share them. I’m not sure I’m ready to completely give up my hard copies, but I’m willing to give this new device a try. Any pros and cons you’d like to share, feel free. Oh, and naturally anything I should watch out for when downloading books and dealing with Amazon would be appreciated.

Guest Post: Is It Like Listening to You Talk? by Graham Parke

Today’s guest post is from Graham Parke, author of No Hope for Gomez! published by self-publisher Outskirts Press, about publishing, check it out:

As you probably know, to become an internationally best-selling author, you need to sell three books. This is not an easy task, but once you’ve managed to rack up these three sales, the rest is more or less a done deal.

Now, these sales themselves will not put you on the best-seller lists. They won’t even put you within a million spots of the bottom of the lists, but what they will do, and what they do every time, is spark a slowly growing buying frenzy that will get you there.

These three people will love your book, they will tell another five people, who in turn tell another seven. Within roughly four-and-a-half weeks, you finally make your first million.
That’s how it happens. Every single time.

But, how does an author tackle this monumental task? Where does he find these three readers?

I myself was quite lucky. When my novel appeared on Amazon I already knew over five people! What’s more, some of these people even liked me… somewhat. So I set out to become an internationally best-selling author by convincing at least three of these five people to buy my novel.

I started with my mother. Of all the five people I knew, I probably knew her the longest. I showed her my Amazon page and she nodded approvingly. She did not, however, make any attempts to buy a copy. So I logged on for her, navigated back to my novel’s page, and left the mouse pointer conveniently positioned over the BUY button.

She read the novel description again, searched-inside-this-book, and nodded some more. When I asked her if she’d like to buy a copy, she scrunched up her nose and said, ‘But what if I don’t like it?’
I told her not to worry. ‘It’s a really good book,’ I said. ‘I should know. I’ve re-written it like 50 times. It’s really funny and interesting.’
My mother wasn’t convinced. ‘I’m not really into comedy writing, though,’ she said.
‘It’s not just a comedy,’ I pointed out. ‘It has a real story; it’s a mystery. And it has twists and turns and believable characters.’
My mother hesitated. ‘Maybe I should just play it safe and buy another Stephen King novel…’

I ended up having to offer a personal money-back guarantee, and purchase a copy using my own credit card for the time being, but she finally cracked. I’d made my first sale!

Next, I prodded my wife. Although she did like words in general, she wasn’t sure she was up for reading and entire book full of them. ‘Is this like your usual stuff?’ she wanted to know.
‘What usual stuff?’
She shrugged. ‘I don’t know. Is it like listening to you talk?’
‘What’s wrong with they way I talk?’
‘Nothing. It’s just, well, sometimes you talk a lot of nonsense.’
I waved it away. ‘Don’t worry,’ I said. ‘I am much more interesting and ‘telligible’ on paper.’

Long story short; my second sale is almost in the bag. Now I just need to find one more person to buy my novel, and I’ll be set for life!

Check out the Summer of Gomez!

Get free books and win a Kindle or iPod.

As reviewers have been calling “No Hope for Gomez!” the perfect summer read – light, fast, fun – I decided to give this summer’s Gomez readers some exclusive content and the chance to win prizes.