What Kind of Woman by Kate Baer opens with “Advice for Former Selves,” in which the poet-narrator says, “Revision is necessary.” It’s an opening poem that encapsulates much of womanhood. There are changes that women experience that are unique to a maturing woman – the movement from girlhood to adolescence to maturity and motherhood. But there are so many other nuanced experiences that women endure, learn from, and absorb with “no lisp of weakness on your tongue.”//” (from “Not Like Other Girls,” Pg. 5)
There’s a wildness in some of these poems, moments of carefree exploration without apology, but there’s that niggling feeling of wrongness or dismissive-ness that underlies some of these experiences. Women are enigmas wrapped in contradictions, and readers will come away from this collection wondering why are women held to a standard in which they must be just one type of woman. The answer is not as simple as society expects it.
In “My Friend Bethany Rages at the news,” societal expectation is clearly part of the problem, not just for women, but also men. The death of a child in a convenience store becomes a centerpiece in the poem where men are asked why the murder happened, and the answer is “parents and video/ games,” not “guns.” The poet-narrator adds, “He does not say how an angry man/can buy several killing machines.” There are so many hidden motives and explanations for what happens in society, but they are never spoken aloud. As if to speak them aloud would make them real.
“Comment Section” is one of the most poignant erasure poems I’ve seen in a long time. It’s worth reading over and over, particularly given it is “for Karen,” which may be a nod to all those internet karens (think entitled and demanding to the point that they display significantly bad behavior to get what they want).
Like a Wife (pg. 33) The week before my wedding, my friend's dad said: just don't get fat, like other wives do. And so I brined him in a deep salt bath, added thyme and celery. Devoured him whole, in one big bite, so he could see just how hungry a woman can be.
Even in marriage there are expectations (external and internal) that attempt to corral a woman’s actions, thoughts, feelings. But women (and men) contain multitudes, as Walt Whitman has said.
At some point, we must learn to let go of these expectations. We do not want to become “The ghost/of every woman who tried to change for/you.” (from “One Thousand Wives,” pg. 40). What Kind of Woman by Kate Baer explores womanhood in all its contradictions, and we should revel in it.
RATING: Cinquain
About the Poet:
Kate Baer is a writer and #1 New York Times bestselling author of many books. Her work has also been published in The New Yorker, Literary Hub, Huffington Post and The New York Times.
