Source: Gift from LibraryThing SantaThing
Paperback, 240 pages
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Still Love in Strange Places by Beth Kephart is part travel, cultural immersion, and marital memoir. El Salvador, the country of her husband’s birth, is seismologically and politically volatile, much like a marriage can be as we seek similarities and rarely understand the differences between us when we first begin a life together. Kephart speaks of her husband’s country as someone who has never traveled to Central America before and only knows about the country from the horrific political turmoil and devastating earthquakes she has seen on the news. She begins the novel very much on the outside of her husband’s life before he went to the United States for college and married her, living a suburban, quiet, American life.
“When I married my husband, I married into all of this. I married a legacy, traditions, danger. I married a man who is not at home unless he’s standing in the shadows of his grandfather’s land or asserting the privileges of a jeep on jungle roads. My husband isn’t home here, where we together live, and yet years would go by before I could begin to understand, before my imagination would let me close to where he’d come from.” (page 10-11)
For a woman that has lived a very privileged American life — for that’s what she says — her experiences traveling were limited to very advanced economies, rather than the more emerging markets in Central America, which have had a harder time coming together and staying together socially and politically. Speaking only English, as many Americans do, arriving in a country where Spanish is spoken in rapid, unending bursts with little time to pause and translate, Kephart illustrates her loneliness and her separateness when she perches in a tree and merely watches from afar as her husband reconnects with his home and his family. This separateness is partly her own making because of her almost desperate need to be part of his family in all ways, but also her desire to pull him back into the world of their American life so that she can be more comfortable.
However, this is not just a memoir about a marriage; it is also a memoir about coming to love a country and a culture that at first seems so foreign and incomprehensible to her. As she sets out to tell her son about his father’s life before America and his heritage, Kephart learns that there is love in the strangest of places — places that were once alien, places that made her feel separate and foreign herself.
What’s beautiful about the memoir is that it doesn’t focus on the rifts or the arguments or the silences these differences between her and her husband may have caused, it is focused on a woman immersing herself in the culture, a history, a people and its coffee. Through its history — political and otherwise — Kephart paints a picture of a country that struggles with its own land and its own people to find itself. El Salvador comes alive in her hands, becomes a living, breathing being with its beauty and darkness, and while there are frightening times of civil unrest and bandits, Kephart is huddled in the family bubble — cradled in their acceptance of her.
“It was an accident, Bill’s falling in love with me. It was a risk, binding himself up in a marriage to an American girl, a suburban girl so entirely naive that she thought she’d be somehow big enough to hold him.” (page 127)
Still Love in Strange Places by Beth Kephart is about love and learning to love even the strangest parts of ourselves and our spouses, it’s a love that embraces everything despite our initial fears and misgivings and misunderstandings. Love should be big enough not only to conquer all, but also to breed acceptance for what we do not understand or know about ourselves and those we love. Love is an expansion of who and what we are; it is the exploration and embracing of what is outside of us and bringing that into ourselves.
About the Author:
Beth Kephart is the author of 10 books, including the National Book Award finalist A Slant of Sun; the Book Sense pick Ghosts in the Garden; the autobiography of Philadelphia’s Schuylkill River, Flow; the acclaimed business fable Zenobia; and the critically acclaimed novels for young adults, Undercover and House of Dance. A third YA novel, Nothing but Ghosts, published in June 2009, and a fourth young adult novel, The Heart Is Not a Size, released in March 2010.
Kephart is a winner of the Pennsylvania Council on the Arts fiction grant, a National Endowment for the Arts grant, a Leeway grant, a Pew Fellowships in the Arts grant, and the Speakeasy Poetry Prize, among other honors. Kephart’s essays are frequently anthologized, she has judged numerous competitions, and she has taught workshops at many institutions, to all ages. She teaches the advanced nonfiction workshop at the University of Pennsylvania.
Wow, you sure do love Kephart’s books! I need to read another at some point because her writing is beautiful and poetic. I just love the cover of this one.
This sounds wonderful and what a beautiful cover!
This one sounds amazing. I’ve only read one of Kephart’s books. Obviously I need to read more by her.
I really liked the inclusion of the country’s history, its coffee, etc.
And right back atcha!: http://beth-kephart.blogspot.com/2014/02/big-apple-bryn-mawr-jersey-city-hoboken.html
You are too cute…
Serena, again—such a thoughtful reflection on a book so dear to my heart. This one took fifteen years and was a novel and then almost a screenplay before it found its way to memoir. Thank you.
Wow, what a great number of incarnations. I think it would have been interesting to see a fictionalization of your husband’s grandfather.
I’ve got to try one of Kephart’s memoirs – I bought one years ago and haven’t picked it up yet.
I’m reading through her backlist slowly. I do want to still keep up with her new ones though.